


Sugar, Butter, Flour

by eojjeona_p



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Diners, Angst, Baker Lee Seokmin | DK, Baking, Car Accident, Doctor Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Domestic Violence, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Hong Jisoo | Joshua is Whipped, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Infidelity, Lee Seokmin | DK is Whipped, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, SVT x Waitress AU, Stress Baking, Swearing, chan is everyone's baby, it's based on the musical, other members are more of background characters, side jeongcheol, side junhao, side meanie, side soonhoon, side verkwan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:28:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29329323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eojjeona_p/pseuds/eojjeona_p
Summary: Seokmin, a waiter and expert pie baker, finds himself trapped in an abusive marriage. With the hopes of winning a pie baking contest, he concocts a plan with his friends to leave his husband and be free from his clutches. When things take a wrong turn and upends his plans, paired with the arrival of the town's new doctor, Seokmin makes do with the situation in his hands, armed with nothing but sugar, butter, and flour.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Lee Seokmin | DK, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Comments: 24
Kudos: 56





	1. What's Inside?

**Author's Note:**

> Seoksoo fic based on the Waitress musical!! I'm well aware of the story lol that's why some changes had to be made. I'm hoping that I was able to write well enough that people who are not familiar with the musical/movie would not need to know any prior knowledge. If you have seen the musical/movie or are aware of what happens, then that's just as great! This story deals with a lot of infidelity and cheating, as well as domestic abuse, so please be mindful of what you read. I'll be putting marks before scenes that are heavy (even if it sort of disrupts the flow) so that readers will be warned. 
> 
> location descriptions are pretty vague since im not familiar with SK geography, but i do try to do as much research.
> 
> i also want to say that i don't condone cheating of any kind nor do i support it. this story however does give characters the avenue to be messy and uncoordinated and see through their decisions and the consequences of such.
> 
> anyways, i don't want to hold you up with too long of a note, so without further ado, please enjoy the story :)

If you want to listen to the song: [What's Inside?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSL4l-ReG3M)

\---

Seokmin, waiter and expert pie baker of Jeon’s Diner, was now working on his next new pie.

This morning, he had stepped in the diner, still empty save for the stray cat that always seemed to get inside despite Seokmin making sure he had locked all doors and windows - even had to look through the vents once - every time he clocked off work. It was lounging lazily at one of the booth chairs, licking at its paws and only looked up once when Seokmin unlocked the diner's doors.

He clocked in before heading straight to the kitchen, donning the apron that was hanging on the rack. The place was clean, all stainless steel and checkered black and white tiles that spanned the whole diner. A long steel counter was set in the middle of the kitchen, much like an island, and separated the place into two sections. Seokmin hung his bag where his apron was previously placed and washed his hands.

Jeon's Diner boasted on their menu and window displays of having "27 different pies!", all freshly baked, thanks to Seokmin's ability to whip up the most delicious pastries. Which Seokmin still lives up to as his feet led him to the pantry. The baker started gathering the ingredients he would need, plucking things from the shelves without having to look, knowing where everything is after working there for nearly five years. He grabs a large pack of sugar, a whole lot of butter, and a bag of flour and takes them to his station, near the ovens. Seokmin heads back to the pantry and prepares for the first thirteen pies to make, reciting in his head the order of which ones he will bake first.

The pantry was at most a chilly room with two stainless steel shelves on each side of the walls, making a sort of “hallway” that led to the walk-in fridge (or “chiller” as Hansol would call it) that contained their fresh fruits, meat, and the occasional wine bottles (strictly for cooking! Seungcheol had emphasized).

Seokmin held an empty basket against his hip as he walked along the shelves and placed jars and fresh fruit and cheese, anything and everything he would need. He was looking for the ingredients for the pumpkin pie when his eyes landed on a basket of cranberries. It was as if a lightbulb lit in his head as he took a bowl and started filling it with the fruit. These things often happened, especially for someone like Seokmin who always wanted to give a twist on the pies he made. For his last pie, he went to the next basket and filled another bowl with blueberries, grabbed a pack of bacon, a bottle of maple syrup and headed out.

His station was soon filled with ingredients, bowls and measuring cups, lined neatly on the counter as he started to make the pie crusts. Seokmin was kneading the dough when Mingyu, who was in charge of the meat station, arrived. His tall frame easily towered across the kitchen but he was anything but terrifying. The smile that Seokmin was greeted with was one of the warmest he had ever received.

“Morning, Seokmin,” the taller greeted as he wore the apron identical to Seokmin’s, albeit a little bigger than his. “Early as always.”

“I ought to be, man,” he answered as his hands worked on the dough. “These pies don’t really bake themselves.”

Mingyu laughed and shook his head before heading to the pantry, no doubt getting the ingredients he would need as well. The kitchen was soon filled with lively chatter as the two exchanged stories, remarks, anything that came to mind. They were well into a new conversation when Hansol and Seungkwan arrived together.

Hansol worked on the fryers and Seungkwan on breakfast and beverages. They walked in the kitchen absorbed in a discussion of their own - or more of Seungkwan talking animatedly while Hansol listened, unaware of the toothy smile plastered on his face as he looked at the brunette.

“Morning, hyung!” Seungkwan made his way over to Seokmin’s station and looked over his shoulder. “What are you making?”

“Just pie crusts. Haven’t made anything yet,” Seokmin said and noticed the younger eyeing the bowl of blueberries. “Don’t even think of taking from my berries, Seungkwan, I’m going to use all of them on my new pi- hey!” He cried out but he was too late as Seungkwan scooted out of the way, giggling with half a handful of blueberries. The younger popped one into his mouth and blew a kiss in the direction of the baker.

“Thanks, Seokmin hyung!” He headed towards Hansol who was already washing his hands, apron tied around his body. Seokmin couldn’t even be mad, and only shook his head with a chuckle as he went back to work. Seungcheol, their boss, arrived shortly as he was loading the oven with dishes of already shaped crusts - for the chiffon pies and cream based ones. He peeked in the kitchen and checked each station before heading back out to start sorting the counter.

Seokmin, as he usually does when baking, fell into his own world. Baking had become a sort of second nature to him. A hobby, a job, an escape. It was what he has been doing ever since he was young, an activity he always spent with his mother that filled him with good and warm memories. It soon became his passion, wanting nothing more than to learn more of the craft, to perfect the different techniques in creating the different pies and tarts that existed, as well as being able to create new ones. He loses himself once his feet are in the kitchen, and for a while, Seokmin would be in his own paradise.

Time always passed by quickly when he was in the kitchen. Seokmin was so absorbed in his work, carefully making the lattice on top of the strawberry pie he was about to bake when he heard Jeonghan and Jihoon, the diner’s waiters, clocked in. The older peeked inside to greet Seokmin and the others before heading back out.

Seokmin hummed as he worked. Dough flattening underneath the pressure of his hands as he continued to roll the pin on the would-be crust of his next pie. It was already nearing opening time- just an hour more till they hear the deep gruff voice of their boss announcing the start of the diner's day to them. It was well into the morning as the warm smell of pastries baking wafted in the air. In the small kitchen of the diner, Seokmin whipped up pies of different types, forms and sizes. Folks always loved coming by the modest diner near the highway, even if it meant for locals to take a 30 minute drive - or a whole bus ride - just to get a taste of their desserts.

The baker, now satisfied with the thickness, gently lifted the dough up from the flour dusted counter and onto a deep dish on his right. His hands worked deftly, pressing down on the insides and crimping the edges. He slides the dish in the oven and finally turns to the (un)whipped cream. A cup and a half of it is poured in the mixing bowl and is soon being whipped into a fluffy white cream.

"A fourth of a cup of maple syrup," Seokmin mutters as he reads off of his carefully written down recipe. He grabs the cup and measures the syrup, pouring it slowly into the bowl once he reached the right amount.

"Seokmin," Mingyu waved at the baker and gestured at the pack of bacon on his station. "How much bacon do you need?"

Seokmin contemplates this before saying, "Half a pack, please!" Mingyu takes the pack and starts frying as Seokmin throws a "thank you" in the cook's direction.

With the whipped cream set aside, Seokmin took the bowl of blueberries to the sink and washed them thoroughly. He heads back to his station when he hears the kitchen timer ringing. The heat that escaped from the oven was enough to make a light sheen of sweat cover the baker's face as he carefully pulled the deep dish out with gloved hands.

The crust was a beautiful golden brown, cooked to perfection as it felt firm enough but not too hard. Seokmin smiled as he internally gave himself a pat on the back. _Congrats on succeeding with blind baking_ , he thinks to himself. He pours the whipped cream and evens them out with a spatula. Blueberries came next as they lightly rested on top of the cream.

"That looks tasty, hyung," Seungkwan says as he passed by, carrying a load of coffee beans from the pantry.

Not long after, Seokmin finishes his last pie for the morning. The Special Pie of the Day. Ones that he got to make every day that wasn't necessarily part of the menu. Ones that he often named with unnecessarily long names and are most often based on what was currently going on with his life. Testament to that were the _Stupid Beer Pie_ or the _Betrayed by my Tongue Pie_. Those earned him an incredulous look and exasperated sigh from Seungcheol.

Now topped with chopped bacon bits and glazed with a sweet maple cream, today's special dessert, the Deep Dish Blueberry Bacon Pie, was lined up in the diner's display of pies, placed on individual heated plates and covered with a fancy transparent lid. Seokmin briefly stands there in front of the display, admiring his morning's labor. They were his pride and joy. The repetitiveness of the days were made bearable because of this, being able to do something such as baking. Everyday, he created delicious food, ones that customers and co-workers have repeatedly praised as they take a bite, though Seokmin always had a hard time believing their words (someone even dared call it art - he had shaken his head profusely at that comment).

Baking hasn't always been the act of mixing flavors and colors people wouldn't normally think would go into a pie. No, it was much more than that. Seokmin was able to tuck inside these pastries little snippets of his life. Secrets. Memories. All of him inside these carefully crafted pies in such a way no one would ever know what was inside.

What was truly inside. Because they always asked him.

_What's inside?_

Sometimes he'd pretend to struggle with the plates, just so he could see their reactions after taking their first bite of the pie. Sometimes he'd be waved over, noting the cleaned out dessert plate, with only a smear of the cream or sauce as evidence of the pie they ordered. And they would ask him.

"What's inside?"

And Seokmin tells them. Without fail.

"This one's a lemon meringue pie. There's lemons, graham crackers, almond nuts and the good ol’ usual," Seokmin explains with a warm smile, "sugar, butter and flour."

_Sour words lead to a sour pie. That's what happened last night with Sunghyun._

"One salted caramel apple pie for you, ma'am," Seokmin said as he carefully laid the plate of sliced pie in front of an old woman. She takes a bite, smiles, and asks the million dollar question.

"What's inside?"

Seokmin feels the smile tugging at his lips as he tells her.

"You've got the sugar, melted into a thick caramel, sprinkled with some salt, juicy apples, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and just a tad bit of lemon juice," he says as he clears her previous plate.

_Eomma and I used to make these whenever dad was drunk. It made me forget him for a while. I miss her so much._

Seokmin tells them and also, does not tell them. Not the whole truth anyway. Because how would he even begin? How can he even explain the intricacies of folding a memory into a pocket of dough, or burying words in a blanket of cream and fruit? How does one tell a customer-a stranger, a friend- that their pie was based on a feeling that was last felt ten years ago? No, he thinks. This is enough.

It's such a simple question, he decides.

_You wanna know what's inside?_

He heads back to the kitchen and slips off the apron he was wearing, in exchange for a much smaller one, the kind that was tied around the waist with a small pocket sewn on the front.

_I'll tell you._

Seokmin takes the little notebook in hand and pockets the pen. He steps out of the kitchen and into the diner, joining Jeonghan and Jihoon, who were both setting up the counter and condiments table.

_My whole life is in here. In this kitchen, baking._

He greets the two waiters as they chat, Jeonghan praising Seokmin yet again for his (fucking incredible, according to his Jeonghan hyung) pastry work. Jihoon waves at him with a warm smile and proceeds to line up the bottles in a neat fashion.

_What a mess I'm making._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope i did the prologue some justice :") let me know what your thoughts are in the comments. this is my first time posting an au so im quite nervous. thank you for reading!


	2. Opening Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi new chapter! 
> 
> this is one of my favorite songs from the musical :D hope you enjoy
> 
> i found a copy of the musical btw I'll link it down at the end notes if you want to check it out :]
> 
> I forgot to mention that the members are aged up a bit. I'll try to be more detailed abt it in the next chapter :)

If you want to listen to the song: [Opening Up](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YQD1e6V7_ug)

_\---_

_Seokmin sat in their dining room, table piled with bills both overdue and current. A frown forms on his face as he punches in the numbers on his calculator. A single sheet of paper is filled with writing, totals and dates and bank accounts. A frustrated sigh leaves his lips._

Fuck. 

_The amount he ends up with when he totalled his salary and that of Sunghyun's was not enough to cover the three months they were behind on rent. Not to mention their electricity bill. Or their water bill. Or the-_

This isn't enough. 

_He buries his face in his hands as he starts to compute the amount of extra shifts he's going to need to cover their expenses. They'd have to cut back on the TV at night. And the washing machine. He could have Sunghyun build a makeshift clothes rack in their backyard, so he could hang the clothes there instead of running the dryer. Maybe they could even sell some of his baking equipment? Seokmin's pretty sure Mrs. Jung from next door has been eyeing his electric mixer ever since he won it from the town hall raffle._

_He takes another look at the paper, at the large red numbers glaring at him, and thinks,_

We're in deep shit. 

Seungcheol's voice breaks him out of his reverie. 

"What's the special pie today?" he asked, hand hovering over the board where they wrote their special menu. 

"Deep shit blueberry bacon, hyung," Seokmin answers back as he wiped down the tables, lining up the tissue dispensers and toothpick holders on each one. Seungcheol turns to write, but does a double take at the baker, voice filled with disbelief, regret even, for asking what the pie's name was. 

"Deep shit?" 

_Well, yeah, isn't that what I said?_

It takes a second before Seokmin realizes.

"Dish! Deep dish! Sorry hyung!" Seokmin scratches the back of his head sheepishly. Seungcheol shakes his head at him while muttering "c'mon man," at him. He ducks down and continues to check each booth, and cleans here and there for any stray speck of dust. The cat was now nowhere to be seen but Seokmin believes it will be back soon. 

Jihoon was in the middle of arranging the stack of menus by the door, leaning backward to see if the edges were properly aligned. 

"Jihoon-ah, you know those will get messed up later right?" Jeonghan called out from where he was polishing the countertop.

"I know, but it wouldn't hurt to at least start the day with some _order_ ," the younger retorts. 

Jeonghan flashes him with that sweet angelic smiling - one that Seokmin knew too well not to trust. 

Jihoon turns to Seokmin and asks, "What pie did you make today?" 

He realizes that his hyung might have completely missed the whole _deep shit_ thing a few minutes ago.

"Deep Dish Blueberry Bacon Pie, hyung," he says with a timid smile and points with his chin the plate in the middle of the dessert table, "that one over there." 

"I thought it was called Deep Shit?" Jeonghan asked as he approached the other two with a shit-eating grin. "Personally, I prefer that one. Gives it a bit of flair."

"Is it really called Deep Shit?" Jihoon turns to Seokmin looking as if he was holding back from laughing. The baker groans at this. 

"No - it's just Deep Dish, okay? I was just a little...preoccupied when Seungcheol hyung asked me." 

"Well it's a mouthful of a name," Jihoon grins. 

"That's because it's a mouthful of a pie." Jeonghan bumps his shoulder into Seokmin playfully. "I should save myself a slice for later," the older says as he looks longingly at the dessert. 

"Yah, form the book club later, alright?" Seungcheol says gruffly from his perch. "We're opening up." 

Their boss finishes writing on the board and gingerly steps down from the stool. He wipes his hands on the apron in front of him and heads towards the diner's entrance. As he unlocks the doors and flips the sign from _"Sorry, we're closed!"_ to _"Come right in! We're open!"_ , he bellows out,

"Opening up!"

And so their day starts like that. 

Has always started like that ever since each of them started working there. 

The diner's walls have not seen much interesting things over the course of its years, and neither has Seokmin. Nor Jeonghan, nor Jihoon. Sure there were the occasional dramas. Gossip and whispers over cups of morning coffee - sometimes milkshakes, or romantic gestures like buying their date three slices of pie instead of one, with the characters "I <3 U" engraved in each piece (Seokmin had liked fulfilling that request very much and they tipped him generously after that). 

But these were all snippets. Only previews of something interesting that barely lit up their repetitive lives. Sometimes Seokmin felt like it was all a routine, their days carbon copied onto the next. The cycle of customers coming and leaving was just as monotonous. Two people leave, and then three people arrive. They leave then one comes in. Later on a family of four steps inside as a couple walks out. 

Despite that, they greet them all just the same. 

"Hi! Welcome to Jeon's Diner!" Their faux cheery voices would ring in the air as they take their orders. 

On occasion, Seokmin might even make small talk. 

"Hello, how've you been?" He would sometimes ask if it was someone familiar, a plate of eggs and bacon being passed between them. 

"Make that coffee strong enough to chew," they hear Seungcheol call out to the kitchen. The three start working as the diner slowly filled with people coming in to have their breakfast. 

Sometimes Seokmin would look around and see Jeonghan chattering with other customers. He thinks, as he collects used plates from a table, that his hyung was a born natural when interacting with people. Though mostly straightforward and snarky, Jeonghan can be a literal angel sometimes and it would usually come out when he talked to customers. 

Jihoon, on the other hand, was a different case. Sometimes he'd find the other waiter spending a lot more time in lining up the ketchup and mustard bottles, or the packets of tea they have by the counter. It was as if his hands would automatically fix anything that seemed the least bit disorganized in the diner. When the waiter takes customers' orders, Jihoon is nothing but the textbook definition of robotic. Some might even call him cold, or distant, and Seokmin would always scoff at that because his Jihoon hyung was anything but that. 

When he'd asked the two of them one dinner night about their lives (as one does when they've had a bit of Soju in their system) he didn't really expect the kind of answers they gave him. Seokmin felt like he was in a routine, as if stuck in a loop, and didn't want to be alone in the feeling. He was met with the agreement of the other two. 

_"I mean," Jeonghan starts as he leans over and pours Seokmin another shot, Jihoon refusing to take another after downing one, face red and hanging low between his hands, "it's all pretty much the same. Day in, day out, it's the same old four walls and the same old street outside, but it...it's enough for me, you know?"_

_"Enough?" Seokmin inquires._

_"Yeah. It's not exactly the kind of happy ending I wanted for my life. I chased that concept like dog with a stick and where did that land my ass? Back home." He downs his shot in one go and grunts at the bitter taste before having another bite of their meal._

_Jihoon leaned against Jeonghan's shoulder for support as he spoke._

_"It's comforting," he says with his eyes closed. "When everything looks...the same. It's comforting for me. I like my days that way. At least I won't have to...worry about what tomorrow will look like because...I've already seen it."_

_The smaller man sighs and falls asleep like that and his two other friends chuckle. Seokmin mulls over his friends' answers._

Besides, they've only got so much time to think about things like these, their wants and dreams, until -

_Ding!_

The diner lets in more customers. Orders are taken here and there and food delivered to tables. The pies don't last too long as the day progresses and Seokmin finds that there's only three slices left of the blueberry bacon pie. He preens at this, noting that it was barely noon and his new pie was already selling fast. 

"Table 2! Order up!" Seungcheol calls out and slides a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast on a tray. "Come on, Jeonghan, put some hustle in that bustle!"

The waiter approaches walks toward him in a relaxed manner, probably to tease Seungcheol. He smiles sweetly at him and takes the tray. 

"Cheol, I like what you did with your hair." The faux sweetness drops instantly and becomes a sneer, "how'd you make it to come out of your nostrils like that?" Jeonghan spits out. 

_Ah_. Now this was a familiar scene. The weird rivalry between his boss and Jeonghan was something he had gotten used to over the years. Their whole routine of throwing insults at each other was almost like a dance, but it was mainly just two verbally aggressive dudes glaring at each other from opposite sides of the counter. Seokmin didn't really know what started it, or who instigated the fight, but this exchange was something that they've had going for years. It wasn't something he would definitely miss, Seokmin thinks, but he could argue that it _has_ become part of his day, as if it wouldn't be complete if he didn't hear or see them become mildly hostile towards each other. 

They hear the bell ding as the doors opened and let in a new customer. Seokmin had already lost count (not that he was counting anyway) of the times he heard that bell today. The customer - an old man in a gray suit - sat by Table 3, right in Jeonghan's area. 

"Jeonghan," Seungcheol calls and gestures for the man to come closer. "Old Jeon's in your section - kinda owns the place." 

Jeonghan grimaces. "I _kinda_ can't deal with him today." He sights Seokmin near the entrance and walks towards him.

Seokmin was grabbing two menus to take to Table 7 when the older comes to him with a small frown on his face.

"Hyung, what's wrong?"

"It's old man Jeon by Table 3," the older explains in a low voice, "Please Seokmin, I don't have the patience to deal with him right now. He owns the place by the way," Jeonghan pleaded with large eyes.

"It's okay, hyung, just take these menus to Table 4," he says as he hands them to Jeonghan. Seokmin supposes he doesn't mind. 

"You're a saint!" the older whispers and blows a kiss before heading away. 

Seokmin made his way to the old man - Mr. Jeon - who had a newspaper spread out before him and was reading quietly. His white hair was a little tussled by the hat that was now resting on the table, by his elbow. The glasses slid down almost to the tip of his nose which made the old man read with his chin held up and eyes downcast. 

"Hello, Mr. Jeon, what would it be today?" Seokmin says once he reaches the table. The old man looks up from his paper - or, his eyes move upward, head barely moving an inch and gives the feeling that Seokmin is being scrutinized by a school principal.

"It's warm in here, I'm warm." Mr. Jeon was frowning and _oh no we can't have the owner of this diner be unsatisfied_. His hand reaches for a handkerchief and dabs lightly at his forehead. 

"I'll let Seungcheol-ssi, know," Seokmin reassures the old man quickly.

"My palms are sweatin' it's so damn warm," he repeats, frown still on his face. The waiter internally sighs. 

"Yes, Mr. Jeon, we'll have that fixed right away." _Can't this day go any faster?_

Seokmin waits as the old man folds up his newspaper.

"Okay, listen up - today I want a big piece of your Deep Dish Blueberry Bacon pie with my scrambled eggs and toast and a tomata on the side, on its own plate," the old man states his order in a loud voice while reading off the menu. 

Seokmin nodded along as he wrote on his notepad. "No potatoes with that?"

"Did I say anything about potatas? Where'd you get potatas from?"

"No potatoes. Tomato. Would that be all?"  
  
"No. I also want coffee. Make it black and put one sugar cube in there. But don't bring that first. Bring me _water_ first with the meal, and coffee after." 

"Alright, Mr. Jeon, I'll have your order in fifteen minutes." Seokmin hurried away and brought the slip to Seungcheol, who then proceeded to call out the order to the kitchen. 

"Table 3, we got scrambled eggs and toast, slice up a tomato and have it on a separate plate."

Seokmin walked over to other tables in his section and took their orders and brought the slips to Seungcheol while waiting for Mr. Jeon's food to arrive. Soon, his boss was calling out for him. 

"Table 3! Order up!" 

He brings over the tray to Table 3 - a plate of steaming scrambled eggs and two pieces of toast with a small piece of butter on top, melting from the still hot bread, a tomato sliced up into three pieces - on its own plate - and a slice of blueberry bacon pie, with a glass of water on the side. 

"Here's your order, Mr. Jeon," Seokmin says as he gently places the plates in front of the old man. Mr. Jeon only waves him away once everything was settled.

Much of his day passed by uneventfully and soon it was closing time. The last of the customers finally left the diner by six; with this, Jihoon turned the signage by the doors to _"Sorry, we're closed!"_ and locked them. The sounds that filled the diner were those of the kitchen crew cleaning and the chatter of the three waiters as they mopped and swept and wiped around the diner. 

Jihoon was placing used plates in a large rectangular basin, pouring down the leftovers in a plastic bag and piling the utensils (spoons, forks, and knives all sorted away from each other!) on top of the plates. Afterwards, he brings this to the kitchen, pushing the door with his back.

"What time is Sunghyun picking you up?" Jeonghan asked his dongsaeng while he wiped at one of the tables. Seokmin looked up from his mopping and answered,

"A little over an hour, I think."

One by one (except for Hansol and Seungkwan), they each leave the diner. Mingyu was first to leave, the couple following after. Seungcheol headed out a couple of minutes later, with his helmet tucked under his arm. 

"Make sure you lock up the place before you go, alright?" their boss reminds them. 

"Sure, hyung." 

When they hear the motorcycle's engine become distant, Jeonghan plops down on one of the booth chairs, sighing.

"God, that man gives me such a hard time," the oldest shakes his head while pinching the bridge of his nose. 

"That's because you give him just as much of a hard time," Jihoon snickers while handing Jeonghan his bag and jacket. He tries to smack Jihoon but the younger gets away in time. 

"Hey - you're supposed to be on my side!"

"We are, hyung. It's just fun to watch you fight most of the time." Seokmin says as he slings his bag on his shoulder. Jeonghan - in all his 35 year old glory - stuck his tongue out at the two. They all laugh at their hyung's antics before heading outside. 

They wait for Seokmin to lock the doors and sat by the bench that was just outside the diner. Jeonghan always gave Jihoon a ride, given that they lived near each other. The two would always wait for Seokmin to be picked up by his husband before they left, so they would sit by the bench, occasionally having a cigarette pass between the three of them. 

"I'm not even sure which app to use," Jihoon lamented as he held his phone. "I mean, there's too many options, and I haven't really done much research on each of them you know?"

"Whatever you say Jihoon, just admit it - you're too scared."

Jihoon's face becomes a deep shade of red.

"I'm not s-scared! I just don't want to do something without having a plan first!"

"Hyung, come on, what's the worst that could happen?" Seokmin asks. "You might get rejected but that always happens. It's part of the process." 

"I know," the smaller buries his face in his hands. "I know and I hate it." 

"Just download a damn dating app, Jihoon. Any app. Start with Tinder. Or fucking Bumble, really, just start with one." 

Before Jihoon could interject, they hear a car honking and see the headlights approaching the diner. Seokmin sighs. 

"Guess that's my cue," he says as he gets up from the bench and brushes off the dirt from his pants. He turns to his hyungs and hug each of them good bye. 

"Have a safe trip."

"Yeah, you too." 

He climbs inside the car and is grabbed by the collar into a sloppy kiss with a quick "hey babe" from Sunghyun before he could close the door. Seokmin could only grunt in surprise. He pulls away and closes the door, giving one last wave at his friends until Sunghyun drives away.   
  
Once out in the street, Sunghyun holds out his right hand at Seokmin expectantly. He reaches inside his bag and fishes out a thin wad of bills - all of today's tips, placing them on his husband's palm. 

"Is this everything? Are you kidding me?" 

"It was a slow day today. Not a lot of people came." Sunghyun clicked his tongue disapprovingly while Seokmin looked out the window. 

It was their ritual. A stupid ritual, if you'd ask Seokmin. But he does it anyway. 

"Been thinking if making you work there's still worth it. Pay's not even good and one of 'em waiters looks at me like I fucking killed his dog and ran it over with my goddamn truck." His hand lands on Seokmin's thigh and he almost flinches at the contact. 

"Maybe I should just have you at home making pies all day, huh?"

"I can't not work, Sunghyun. We got bills to pay." His husband huffs.

"You could work somewhere else then. Getting tired of having to drive out on the highway just to pick you up." 

Seokmin bites back a response that could get him in trouble. He can take it. Not saying anything was always the better option. He thinks over what Sunghyun has said about him leaving the diner.

Seokmin wasn't really attached to the diner before, thinking that it would only be a temporary job he'd take until he could find one that was much more suitable for him. Like, punching numbers into a computer or making spreadsheets and all that. But that wasn't necessarily something he excelled at. Seokmin knew enough and thought that he could definitely work around offices, but it wasn't exactly easy to look for companies that accepted employees without a college degree. 

But baking - that was something he knew. And it was something people said he was good at. So while Sunghyun went to work as a mechanic, Seokmin took the job. He didn't think that the place would rub off on him, nor the people who worked there (yes even their grumpy ass boss, Seungcheol), and so even with the monotonous days of serving in that place, Seokmin didn't want to leave. Not his friends at least. 

He doesn't say any of this to Sunghyun, and does not speak until their house comes to view. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback would be very much appreciated, or just sharing your thoughts tbh any comment really makes my day :) thank you for reading!
> 
> link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qPoFbwYvUp4


	3. The Negative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!! new chapter here :]
> 
> okay before i start- 
> 
> happy birthday to our 218 bros, seokmin and hansol!!!
> 
> thank you so much for the kudos (kudoses??) !!! I really really appreciate them and the comments also make my day! 
> 
> there's some scenes here that are quite heavy or uncomfortable to read so i put markers (***) before and after the parts so you'll know where it starts and stops. I've updated the tags to let you know what this chapter includes.
> 
> for those that know the plot i understand if u have questions so I'll be explaining some stuff in the end notes 👉👈
> 
> thank you so much for waiting and i hope you enjoy this chapter!

If you want to listen to the song: [The Negative](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrq3i1ELNis&list=PLaHwSBnw447qJ7-2Jxw-46MRVyPy1XCzZ&index=3)

\---

The dull pain that was shooting from his backside forced Seokmin to move slower than usual. He groaned everytime he would have to bend or squat to reach something from the pantry or cook something in the oven and _why did they even make them so low?_

Seokmin was working on his next new pie - the You Drive Me Coconuts Cream Pie, and yes, it’s about Sunghyun - when Seungcheol clocked in, much earlier than he usually did. The baker looked up in surprise when his boss came in, a stack of papers in his one hand.

"Oh, you're early today, hyung," Seokmin greeted as he slid the pie in the oven.

Seungcheol hummed, not looking up from the papers he was holding as he read. "New hire's coming in today," was all he said.

Seokmin’s interest was piqued. The diner hasn't had anyone new in almost two years, the last one being Seungkwan. Their boss had mentioned the other day that someone had applied for a cleaning job in the kitchen, one they quite needed but still managed without one. Everyone seemed to like the idea that they would no longer have to wash their own pots and pans, or have a rotating schedule of who would take out the trash. Since it was a general position and didn't require any kitchen specific skills, the hiring process was quick and finalized within the weekend. Today was the new hire's first day.

"They got a name?" Seokmin asked as he started to slice up some peaches. Beside him was a bowl of mangoes that were next in line on the chopping board.

"Chan. Lee Chan. Boy's about...24- I think." Seungcheol only looked up when he heard a knock coming from the kitchen door.

Standing outside was a young man dressed in a light brown sweater with a white collar peeking out of the neckline and jeans. He was rocking back and forth lightly on his heels, hands in his pockets to keep them from being cold. When the door opened, the young man looked up and Seokmin got a full view of his face. _Cute._ That was his first impression. His sharp eyes that seemed to give off an intense stare were softened by the blush that was coloring his cheeks. When the door opened, his smile was warm-contrast to the biting cold that he was standing in.

"Good morning, Mr. Choi," the young man bowed before he was let in. When he saw Seokmin in the kitchen, he bowed to him as well and was about to shake Seokmin's hand when the baker raised his arms.

"Ah- hands are still dirty. I'm Seokmin, by the way."

"Good morning, Seokmin-ssi. I'm Lee Chan. Just Chan would be fine, though."

"Well, Just Chan, it's really nice to meet you." Seokmin grinned. Chan laughed at this and bowed before Seungcheol was steering him out of the kitchen. 

"Alright, I'll just take Chan on a tour around the diner." He led him out, leaving Seokmin alone with his pies. Their interaction barely lasted five minutes but Seokmin thought that he already liked the kid. There was something about him - his aura? his personality? - that drew him in.

The morning rolled by and proper introductions were made when the others arrived, Mingyu and Seungkwan taking a special interest in the boy. They pestered him with questions as they worked, and learned most of what he knew about Chan.

He only got as far as his college story, where he was in the middle of explaining to Seungkwan his major and that he was currently taking a gap year, before Seungcheol shooed them away and letting the poor boy work in peace. 

\---

Seokmin winces for the third time that day as he walks to the counter to hand Seungcheol the slip of Table 6’s order.

“You okay, Min-ah?” Jihoon asks, eyebrows creasing with concern.

“I’m fine, hyung,” he reassures the other and tries to give him a convincing smile. “Just had too much coffee, that's all.”

“Avoiding it won’t make it go away, hon,” Jeonghan says with a menu in hand. The older rubs soothing circles on his back. “You sure you’re fine?” Seokmin only nods.

“Yep. Just need to get some work done.” He hurries out of their gazes to clear a table of the plates and glasses. The dull pain was still there but it was more annoying than it was painful.

As he continued to work, walking around the diner serving plates and attending to people, the feeling became a bit bearable. It was not until lunch rush was over that Seokmin was able to find a small window of time to take a break.

Thinking that he could finally have a few minutes of peace - alone - was a mistake. From his peripheral, he sees Jeonghan approach him before he is being dragged by Jihoon towards the bathroom.

“Hey- hey where the hell y'all think you’re going?” Seungcheol calls out when he sees the three waiters leaving their posts.

“To the beach, Cheol!” Jeonghan shouts back. “Pack us a lunch!”

They hurry inside and lock the doors before their boss could come. They hear Seungcheol on the other side of the door, banging loudly.

“There’s no one on the floor! Am I supposed to put on a waiter uniform myself?”

“Whatever floats your boat, Cheol,” Jeonghan replies, sarcasm dripping thickly in his voice.

“Let me remind you that I can fire your ass-”

“Sorry, Cheol- can’t hear you! Water’s running!” They huddle by the farthest sink, away from the door.

“Get out of there! I’m only saying this once!”

The three keep their mouths shut and wait for Seungcheol to do something. They wait for the booming ‘you’re fired’, or more banging, but it doesn’t come. From the other side, they could only make out a sigh and a small “goddammit” before it became completely silent. Jihoon pressed his ear against the door and confirmed that Seungcheol had in fact walked away.

Jeonghan then turns to Seokmin, who was now leaning against the wall.

“Alright, spill. What’s up with you?” The older crosses his arms and narrows his eyes at Seokmin.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s up with me, hyung.” Seokmin tries to reach for the door but the two block him.

“The hell do you mean with ‘nothing’? You’ve been wincing and frowning all day, you're making the customers think you’re mad at them.” It was Jihoon’s turn to frown.

“And you’ve been walking all funny this morning, if I didn’t know any better, you look-” Jeonghan pauses, and widens his eyes. "Wait- did you- did you have sex with Sunghyun?”

Seokmin cringed at the bluntness of the question. He could only shrug, eyes looking anywhere but his hyungs. He didn’t even understand why he was feeling sulky about it. Sunghyun was his fucking _husband_ , for all it mattered, he had every right to have sex with him. At least that's what Seokmin would reason to himself.

“I mean- he’s my husband anyway. Why shouldn't he?”

“I thought you don’t sleep much with your husband anymore,” Jihoon said, tilting his head to the side. He leads Seokmin on a closed toilet seat to sit down. Slowly, he lets himself sink on the hard material, wincing ever so slightly.

“He got me drunk, hyung. You know I do stupid things when I’m drunk- like sleep with my husband.” he buries his face in his hands and groans.

“Oh honey, we’ve all made that mistake,” Jeonghan cards his fingers through Seokmin’s hair.

*******

They stay silent for a while, both waiters comforting him. Seokmin thinks of what happened last night, when Sunghyun came home with a box of Soju bottles, already drunk, and offered to have a drink with him. They hadn’t had a drink with each other in so long, his husband reasoned, so Seokmin relented, thinking that he was only going to have one sip. But Sunghyun urged him, pouring shot after shot, even when Seokmin refused. One thing led to another and he found themselves in the bedroom. It was clumsy. And sloppy. Sunghyun didn’t pour enough lube, didn’t spend enough time with his fingers before shoving his dick up Seokmin’s ass, too drunk to care. It hurt the whole time and Seokmin could only pray and bite his hand until Sunghyun came inside of him. He passes out right after pulling out of Seokmin, leaving the younger to clean up for himself. The thick heaviness in his head caused by the alcohol made the task a lot harder until Seokmin woke up the next morning still in the bathroom, naked and sitting on the toilet.

*******

Seokmin realized that Jihoon was talking to him until the other tapped him on the back.

"Are you okay then? You wincing can only mean two things, Min-ah."

Not wanting to answer that question, Seokmin did what he would usually do whenever faced with situations that seemed too much for him to handle. He lifted his head from his hands and looked up. “Shh, I’m making a new pie.”

He hears Jeonghan softly sigh. “Sure you are.”

“I’m calling it ‘I Don’t Want My Husband’s Dick Pie’.”

Jihoon holds back a snort. “I don’t think we can write that on the menu board.”

“Then I’ll just call it the ‘Menacing Banana Cream Pie’.”

“Jesus, Seok- what’s gonna be in it?” Jihoon asks and Jeonghan shoots a glare at the other waiter for encouraging Seokmin.

The recipe starts to form in his head. 

_Crack an egg. Combine it with a single banana. Soak it in Soju, mix in with improperly whisked cream for a sloppy finish, and use extra shortening in the crust to trap the moisture in. Forever-_

They were interrupted by a loud bang on the door.

“Hey! Pledge the allegiance later!” Seungcheol shouted.

The three hurry out but before they could separate, Jeonghan holds his hand and says, “This conversation isn’t over yet, hon, okay? We’ll talk later.” Seokmin only nods.

He feels grateful for the kind of support Jeonghan and Jihoon give him, especially when it comes to dealing with Sunghyun, but when they got out of the bathroom, Seokmin felt nothing short of relief. It felt like an interrogation and frankly, it was a subject he did not want to talk about right now.

“You don’t do your work and I’ll dock your pay." Seungcheol practically growled at them. "And you-” he turns to Jeonghan, “you’re really pushing my buttons today.”

The other two watch as they both glare at each other.

“Yeah? Which one is mute?” Jeonghan stomps away, Jihoon and Seokmin following shortly, not wanting to be on the receiving end of their boss’s irritation.

The peace of mind he had been wishing for still does not come.

“Waiter! Who do you have to know here to get a piece of pie?” A loud voice bellows from a table. _Speak of the devil._ Seokmin feels confusion and irritation fill his mind when he sees Sunghyun, sitting like he owned the goddamn place. His mop of brown curly hair was tucked inside a cap paired with his usual attire, a weathered white shirt underneath an unbuttoned checkered polo and jeans. His face was bearded and looked as if he was handsome when he was in his prime. But now, all they could see was the result of years of heavy drinking and rejections.

“Sunghyun-”

“Hey baby.” Seokmin felt sick as he approached his table. From a distance, Jihoon and Jeonghan watch them intently.

“What are you doing here?”

“Taking the rest of the day off.” Taken by surprise, Seokmin failed to stop himself from asking.

“Wait- what? What about work?”

“Fucking foreman was on my ass for being late. I told him ‘don’t blame the line at Taco Bell on me!’ I don’t belong in that shit job anyway- hey, where’s my kiss?”

“Sunghyun, I have to get back to work-”

“They can wait.” He grabs his wrist tightly and looks into his eyes. Seokmin finally relents and bends down to give him a light peck on the cheek until he’s pulled into Sunghyun’s lap, a surprised gasp leaving the waiter. Seokmin tries not to scream from the sudden contact on his ass.

“Sunghyun, I’m at work!” Seokmin hissed. His husband only shrugged nonchalantly, arms snaking around Seokmin’s waist.

“How we doin’ today, hmm?” Seokmin sighed wearily before reaching into his apron’s pocket and handed the wad of bills to Sunghyun He counted out the tips and hummed. 

“Well, not bad. Not great either.” His arms tighten slightly. “You know, what I said the other night still stands. I don’t want you working here anymore.”

Seokmin shook his head as he pushed away Sunghyun’s arms. “And I already told you what my answer is.” He stalks toward the pie table and gets a piece of the coconut cream pie for Sunghyun.

“Damn, this is tasty,” Sunghyun says in between bites. Seokmin hated the way he preened at the compliment and could not help but smile.

“Last piece left. Sold so fast today couldn’t quite believe it-”

“Well, don’t go getting a big head or something. I mean, this is good but face it, Seok, you’re no Gordon Ramsay.”

Seokmin’s smile falters at this comment- no, it completely falls off his face. He heard a gasp from somewhere in the diner but did not care to see who it was. Mood completely shattered, he could only weakly answer.

“You used to say my pies were so good I could open my own shop.” He tried not to pout or cry- at least not in front of his husband. _Does Gordon Ramsay even bake pies?_ Seokmin fidgets with the hem of his apron and- god he fucking hates feeling like this.

“I was just tryin’ to get laid,” Sunghyun shrugged.

In Seokmin’s mind, he was inventing a new pie.

_My Husband is a Chicken Jerk Pot Pie._

The recipe forms in his head, ingredients floating.

_Pound the chicken until it’s unrecognizable._

A suitcase forms in his head.

_Pack flour quickly._

He starts throwing his clothes inside the suitcase. A toothbrush. IDs.

_Use only essential ingredients. Simmer without a lid, enabling the vapor to escape swiftly from the mixture._

He envisions himself in a train station wearing a long coat, suitcase, passport and ticket in hand-

“Seokmin!” Sunghyun snaps him out of his daydream. “You’re not even listening to me! I’m working hard here. You want for nothing and you can’t even listen to me.” Seokmin cowers from him.

“I’m sorry, Sunghyun. I’ll work on that.” He gets up from his lap as Sunghyun stands.

“Whatever. I’m heading out.”

It was only when Sunghyun’s truck drove away from the diner that Seokmin was able to let out a breath he was holding. It was ridiculous, he thinks, how sick and scared he was everytime he was in the same room as Sunghyun. How he always wanted to scream but couldn’t find the voice to do so.

When Seokmin decided to run away with Sunghyun, to say yes to his proposal, and say the binding words "I do", he didn't think that he would end up with this. He didn't think that his life would take a series of wrong turns and end up in a strange and unfamiliar land. He felt as if no matter how hard he tried to steer in the right direction, there was always something that would fuck things up. A bump in the road. And Seokmin's had one too many bumps to last him a lifetime. 

He didn't imagine that marrying Sunghyun would result to this: a dead end job in a small town far away from everyone he used to know. Family. Friends. Back then everything seemed so simple. High school sweethearts - or star-crossed lovers, as Sunghyun used to call themselves - that had little to no clue of what the world was really like. They were both so naive; an aspiring musician and baker, each having a dream of making it big in their fields. Each thinking that they'll both reach their dreams while holding hands and singing happily. But they were both stupid. The world was an unforgiving wasteland inhabited by those whose hopes were stolen, and they did to him what was done to them. Sunghyun received one too many rejections. Failed gigs. No one turning up at his performances, except Seokmin who stuck with him through everything. _Through thick and thin._

Some vows they used to be.

"Seokmin?" Jihoon was waving his hand in front of his face. "You alright back there?" 

_Oh._ He hadn't realized he spaced out again. His forced movement on his hands, piling up the plates and placing them inside the basin. The day had went by much faster and didn't notice until it was closing time. 

"Oh, uhm, yeah. I'm okay, hyung." He lifts the basin, already full of used plates and utensils, and brings it into the kitchen. Inside, Chan was chatting with Hansol as they cleaned. Seokmin handed the younger the basin and smiled apologetically. 

"Hey, Chan, got a new batch." 

"It's okay, Seokmin-ssi, you can leave it here." 

Seokmin thanks him and heads back out. As soon as he steps into the diner, Jeonghan stands from his spot and approaches the baker. 

"Seokmin-ah," he says as he holds both of his hands, "do you mind if we talk to you for a sec?"

He glances at the two, both looking serious and concern on their faces. Seokmin nods slowly, curiosity and dread gnawing at him. They lead him to one of the tables and sit him down. 

"Seokmin," Jeonghan started. The older was still holding his hands, surprisingly gentle. "Listen. We're doing this because we're concerned about you, okay? And as your friends, we want you to know that if there's anything we can help you with, you can tell us, okay?" 

He feels the nerves starting to settle in his stomach, already not liking where this conversation is going. 

"You're making me nervous, hyung." Seokmin lets out a nervous laughter. "What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

The two waiters glance at each other briefly, Jihoon slightly nodding.

"It's about Sunghyun." Seokmin keeps silent and Jeonghan takes this as a cue to keep talking. 

"Look, I-" Jeonghan tries. He pauses and seems to struggle to find the right words until he sighs. "Seokmin, life's a shit show. All three of us here know how true that is. My landlord's been hounding us all week about our rent we're lucky he hasn't kicked us out. And I'm married to a man who can't care for himself and buying diapers by the bulk." He jabs a finger in Jihoon's direction before continuing. "And Jihoon here has never had a boyfriend and he eats TV dinners alone every night-" 

"Chicken Kiev on Monday, Veal Piccata on Tuesday-"

"But we still wouldn't rather be you." Jeonghan finishes. 

Jihoon nods along. "No, we sure wouldn't."

Seokmin feels the discomfort he felt earlier in the bathroom and started squirming in his seat. He tries to shrug off their concerns. "Everybody's got something they're dealing with. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine-"

"Seokmin you always say that but you're not-"

"Yeah but it's always worked right? I'll keep saying I'm fine till I _am_ fine." 

"Some husband Sunghyun's been. Honey, don't hold yourself to vows and promises you made when you were too young to know who the hell he really was!" Jeonghan was getting more and more frustrated with each of Seokmin's denial. 

"Sunghyun wasn't always like this," Seokmin says defensively. "He's just going through a rough time, that's all."

"And what's the shelf life on that excuse?" Jeonghan leans back against the seat and crosses his arms, eyebrows quirking up. 

Seokmin remains quiet and could only stare at the table, at his fingers that were fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, at anything except his two friends in front of him. 

"I can't even afford to leave him now," he says after a pause. Seokmin's voice was so small it was almost inaudible. He hears a small sigh but does not look up to see who it was from.

"You can move in with me," Jihoon offered. He holds the baker's hand in his as he continued. "It's a studio but I have a full size twin. We could be room mates!" The other's excitement was evident at the sudden thought that came on him. Being roomies with Jihoon? _I mean_ , Seokmin thinks, _why not?_

But Seokmin could only smile sadly. He could. Move in with Jihoon, that is, but then what? Sunghyun would find him. He'd drag him back to the house and who knows, maybe he'd chain him up inside. With or without the bonds, Seokmin could already feel the chains tightening around him, suffocating him, restricting him and holding him back from everything. He can't move in with anyone. 

"I really appreciate it, hyung, but...I can't. I just _can't_." He can't tell them why. 

"Oh Seokmin, please, just this once. Dust the flour out of your brain and do yourself a favor and leave his sorry ass!" Jeonghan threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

"He'd never let me!" Seokmin bites back. 

"Honey, it's not up to him-"

A familiar honk was sounded and signalled the arrival of Sunghyun. His truck rolled to a stop in front of the diner. The three stand up from their table, Jeonghan and Jihoon following Seokmin as the baker went out to meet his husband. As they walked, Seokmin saw Sunghyun climb out of the car, slamming the door shut, causing all three of them to flinch. Once Sunghyun's eyes landed on Seokmin, he sees fury. Pure unadulterated fury. It was a great contrast from Sunghyun earlier that day. He'd pick nonchalant asshole any day over this. 

*******

"Get in the fucking car."

"Sunghyun, I-" 

"I said. Get. In. The. Fucking. Car." 

Seokmin shuts his mouth. He feels himself freeze on the spot, torn between wanting to follow so that he won't piss him off further or bolting it, knowing that wherever this was going, a car ride with a furious Sunghyun wasn't going to end well. 

So he does what he thinks is the best decision- one where it would incur the least damage. He turns his head slightly to his hyungs, who were still there, standing behind him, just as unsure of what to do. 

"Jeonghan-hyung? Would you mind getting my bag for me?" 

"Seokmin, I have a bad feeling ab-"

"Please, hyung." He turns his head to look at him in the eye, pleading. _Please don't make this worse._

It takes a few minutes- it felt like forever- for Jeonghan to nod and slowly step inside. Jihoon stays rooted in his spot, on high alert in case anything would go wrong. They stand there for a few minutes and Seokmin could practically feel Sunghyun's impatience radiating off of him as they waited. Jeonghan walks back outside with Seokmin's bag in his hand, but as he reaches out for it, the older hesitates. 

"Seokmin, please-" he tries again. 

"Jeonghan-hyung," Seokmin musters up all of his courage and forces himself to smile. "I'll be fine." He turns to Jihoon who had the same worried look on their faces. "I'll be fine."

Jeonghan finally hands the bag after some prompting from Sunghyun. Seokmin climbed inside the car and looked back at his friends one last time, before he hears Sunghyun slam his door and they speed out into the highway. 

Sunghyun was seething, that much was obvious. His red face and deep set frown was enough to give away what he was feeling. Now all Seokmin needed to know was _why_. 

"Babe? Is everything okay?" 

It turns out that this was a mistake because it seemed as if Seokmin had just opened Pandora's box. 

"Don't you fucking 'babe' me!" he explodes. "You think I wouldn't notice, huh? You think I wouldn't see you? Do you think I'm stupid, Seok? Is that what you see me as?" 

Two thoughts come into Seokmin's mind that makes fear settle in the pit of his stomach. 

One, that Sunghyun was drunk. Very drunk and very much speeding through the highway with cars zooming past. He's glad he was able to buckle his seatbelt. 

Two. He wondered if Sunghyun heard their conversation a while ago. He wondered if he heard Jeonghan and Jihoon convincing him to leave his 'sorry ass'. Seokmin felt the tears before he realized that he was crying out of fear. Panic began to rise like bile, making him feel sick. 

Fear is an understatement to what he feels right now. Their speed matched his heart rate and Seokmin didn't think the truck could ever go this fast. Sunghyun was still screaming angrily, alternating between looking at Seokmin and looking at the road. 

"You must really think I'm stupid," Sunghyun laughs maniacally, "yeah well, bet you didn't think I'd catch you, huh? You didn't think I'd see you flirting with that customer, huh? Hah!" 

Confusion mixes in with his terror as he tries to understand what the fuck he's talking about. They veer right past a larger truck and Seokmin feels his heart drop to his ass. 

"Sunghyun, what the hell are you talking about? Please, just calm down for a sec-" he blubbers out. 

"Playing dumb ain't gonna save you, Seokmin! I'm not stupid! I know what you're trying to do! Don't fucking tell me what to do!" 

"Sunghyun please just slow down- we can talk about all this when we get home, please I promise-"

"I told you to shut the fuck up!" Sunghyun glares at Seokmin, eyes boring into him. "You don't get to fucking tell me shit after what you've done!"

"But I don't even know what you're talking about!" Seokmin screams back. "Sunghyun please, just slo- watch out!" Seokmin pulls the steering wheel into his direction but he was too late. 

They crash into an oncoming car, and Seokmin could feel as if he was being propelled forward. The truck spins for god knows how long until they forcefully come to a stop by a large tree. Seokmin sees lights flashing around him before he completely blacks out. 

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii soooo
> 
> if you listened to the song, it's reallyyyyy different from what happened from this chapter lol. like there's no baby at all im so sorry. at first i thought i could write this with a/b/o dynamics with the mpreg and stuff but i feel im not really experienced enough to write in this field so i thought of alternative events. i hope this doesn't disappoint anyone 👉👈 but please don't worry! i have plans for what happens in the succeeding chapters. 
> 
> thank you so much for reading!


	4. What Baking Can Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooo new chapter :>
> 
> i was planning to update much earlier but some stuff happened and i had to focus on that for some time. also, classes are about to start for me so updates might come a little bit slower than i plan to. i'll still try my best tho!
> 
> so uhm, there /will/ be some inaccuracies here regarding some stuff (in end notes) so please excuse my lack of knowledge :">
> 
> anyways, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

If you want to listen to the song: [What Baking Can Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRaSSfSpR5E)

_\---_

_"Seokmin-ah," his mother called out. She waved for him to come inside the house. "Time to eat! I made something for you."_

_Bounding in, a five year old Seokmin was holding a plastic airplane, zooming it around the kitchen until he was picked and seated at the table. His small feet wiggled happily as he saw a slice of pie being set in front of him._

_"Apple pie! My favorite!" Seokmin squealed. He wasted no time digging in, making a mess of himself as the filling spread around his mouth, some even on his cheeks and nose. But his mother did not scold him for it._

_"Good?" She asked with a warm smile._

_"Mm!" was all he said as he took another bite. "Eomma always makes the best food! She can do anything!"_

_She laughed, ruffling her son's hair as he continued to eat. The boy didn't notice the light watering in her eyes. She stands to get Seokmin some napkins and promptly wipes away at her eyes before he could notice anything._

_"Thank you, Seokmin-ah." She diligently wiped at his face, keeping as still as possible for a five year old. He looked into his mother's eyes, and he saw nothing but love._

\---

"Sunghyun..." 

He reached out to where he thought his husband was. 

A blurry figure slumped on the steering wheel. 

\---

_"Roll the dough gently, like this," her hands - still much larger than Seokmin's - were placed on top of his, placing the slightest pressures as she guided him. He watched, amazed, as the dough flattened underneath the pin with each back and forth movement. “There. Feel the dough- but don’t pinch it.” Seokmin felt a small part of the dough where he could reach, letting it rest- between his thumb and index finger. “That’s the thickness we want for our pie dough. We don’t want it to be too thick or too thin. See?” She holds the edge of dough as Seokmin nodded._

_They stay in the kitchen for a long time, making Seokmin’s favorite- the apple pie. His mom- would peel and cut the fruit and Seokmin would mix them in the pot, letting the sugar melt and the aroma fill the air. She guided him from behind, hands always around him, making him feel secure. Safe. Warm. As their hands crimped and folded the edges, as they poured the filling into the crust, and as they laid the lattice work on top. Seokmin was so absorbed into making the pie- making sure that it was good- that he had already forgotten the incident just a few hours ago._

_He had already forgotten the angry yells that came from his drunken father, and his mother’s whimpers. Maybe if he concentrated more on the pastry in front of him, if he tried hard enough, he might forget the sounds of his father’s fist landing on skin. On flesh. He’d forget his mother’s bleeding forehead._

_When the kitchen timer dinged, Seokmin grabbed the oven mitts and placed his too small hands inside. He slowly pulled out the dish, careful not to let any of his limbs touch the still hot sides of the oven, and set it on the kitchen table. The smell of the pie was quick to fill his lungs as he took a deep breath in._

_It was beautiful._

\---

“Seokmin? Seokmin, can you hear me?”

He feels movement underneath his body. His sight is blurry, eyes still too heavy until he couldn’t keep them open.

\---

_“Seokmin-ah, what would you like to make today?”_

_It began as a simple question, that later on became their routine. His mother would ask him what pie he would want to make and he’d often answer with something outrageous. But whenever those ‘outrageous’ pies came out of the oven, it always felt like it was something from heaven. Or from a different dimension. And he’d always marvel at his mother’s ability in turning his pie ideas into reality._

_“I think you’ve got a pie factory in your head,” she once said when he asked if they could make a marshmallow mermaid pie. She smiled at him endearingly as he beamed when she said yes. They pondered over the recipe the whole afternoon, deciding which ingredients to use and how much of each. It was as if they were on a mission of making something real. And to Seokmin, it always felt like that._

\---

_“Boys aren’t supposed to be in the kitchen, baking and shit. You got no business here,” his father said before yanking him away._

_“Eomma!”_

_“Fucking leave it. Don’t try to piss me off or you’ll regret it.” He cowered from his father. He could barely keep up until he was thrown into the garage and made to sit on a stool. “This is what you should be learning. What you should be doing. You’re a man so fucking act like one.”_

_Seokmin was scared shitless as he helped his father fix their car. What they did, he had no recollection, did not retain a single step, all too focused on not making a mistake or making a sound. He handed the wrench, the pliers and anything that was asked of him._

_When his father was at home, he would be dragged to the garage, or the front yard, or in the attic, sometimes in the kitchen too but only to fix the sink, and he would be forced to do the “manly” tasks. Seokmin would not be allowed to rest until the results were something that satisfied his father. He supposes that all this time spent with his father, with all the focus on him, he felt glad. Relieved, even. There were less nights of his mom being beaten, but more nights of him on the receiving end. But he didn’t really mind. He can take it. As long as it was him and not his mom._

Not eomma.

\---

There’s a steady beeping somewhere from his side.

Pain.

And then, numbness.

\---

_It had been years since he was last in the kitchen solely to bake. He was alone, at home. School had finished early and it was one of the rarest moments that the house was empty, save for him._

_His hands reached for sugar, butter, and flour. Seokmin started making a pie, a recipe he had been concocting for weeks, in between classes and nights spent fixing things around the house. A pumpkin-cream cheese pie. He had been eyeing the pumpkin his mom had taken home one day, and now he was able to put it to good use. Seokmin was immersed in his work as he mixed cookie crumbs, flour and butter for the crust. Cream cheese and sugar, milk, cinnamon, spices and eggs._

_He felt himself tune everything out as his hands worked. For the first time in months - years - he felt that he was truly happy. As he mixed the filling, he imagined his frustrations being crushed and blended with the pumpkin. He thought of how his anger and fear got buried underneath as he filled the dish of the mixture. It was during this afternoon that Seokmin emptied himself of his thoughts and into the pie in his hands._

_A pumpkin-cream cheese pie served with a dash of years of pent up emotions, sprinkled with profanities and topped with whipped cream._

\---

"His femur..."

"Fracture..."

"Surgery..."

\---

_They were in the kitchen, him and his mother, one day when his father had to go out of town for three days._

_Three days of peace. Bliss._

_"Hmm...I'm not sure if this is working out the way we planned," his mother said, looking at their invented filling - crushed peach and mango bits mixed in with sugar and a bit of water._

_"Should we lessen the sugar? I think the fruits are enough to make it sweet. Or maybe add something that can, I don't know, buffer? The sweetness?"_

_"That might work, but then, I'm not sure what exactly to add. Or subtract."_

_Despite their uncertainty, they continue to bake. Once the pie came out and they each have taken a bite, Seokmin learned that day how doubt can be delicious too._

_And sadness. And disappointment._

\--- 

_"There's a lot of things baking can do, Seokmin-ah. You'll learn more of it when you grow older."_

_His mother said as they sat outside on their porch. She stroked his hair as they sat in the silence, father long asleep from all the alcohol he had downed. He could feel himself being pulled to sleep with every stroke, eyelids fighting to stay open._

_"I pray that you never have to learn how to keep anything negative. I hope that all the food you bake are all made with love."_

_She takes a deep breath._

_"Unlike me."_

\---

Light danced around his eyelids as Seokmin came to, consciousness slowly making him aware of where he was. It was cold, despite the thin sheet placed on top of him. The place smelled clean, like bleach, or hospitals-

_Hospital?_

Seokmin opened his eyes slowly and was met with a white ceiling. They darted around the room, taking in more white from the walls, his bed and the equipment. He tried sitting up, finding out very soon it was difficult to do so. Actually, moving any part of him was quite difficult. Seokmin groaned out as he gave up. It was then that he noticed he could not move his right leg. Upon further inspection, and to his horror, it was enclosed inside a stark white cast from toe to thigh. 

_What the fuck?_

Memories of what happened the night before came flooding in. Shouting. The crash. Sunghyun. _Where is he?_ Seokmin felt his stomach churn as he remembered. He was taking shallow breaths and trying to calm down when the door opened and a nurse came in. 

"Oh! You're awake," she said with a bright smile. "I'll let the doctor know." 

"Can I..." his throat felt raspy, "have some water?" 

The nurse nodded. "Sure thing. Be back in a sec."

Seokmin sighed in relief. At least there'll be one familiar face. Dr Perkins has been his doctor ever since he and Sunghyun moved to this town. Her presence was something Seokmin found comforting, one he needed most right now. 

The doctor that came in, however, was not Dr. Perkins. 

Waltzing inside was a man, holding a clipboard in his hand. Confused, Seokmin wondered if he was one of those doctors who went room to room and observed patients from time to time. He was talking to the nurse that checked in on Seokmin, who had his cup of water (thank god), when they came in. The nurse lifted the upper half of the bed so that Seokmin was in a sitting position; he gratefully downed the water quickly.

"Hello, Mr. Lee?" 

Seokmin cleared his throat. "Yes. Who are you?"

Undeterred by the bluntness, the man answered back, "I’m your doctor. Doctor Hong." He gives Seokmin a reassuring smile, but Seokmin feels anything but that.

"You're not my doctor. Lily Perkins is my doctor."

"Well, I’m sorry to say she’s not seeing any patients. She's semi-retired now."

"Sorry- what?"

"Well, long story, making it short: I'm the new doctor on staff. I'm from Seoul. Just moved here 2 weeks ago. Are you bored yet?"

"Yes." _Oh shit._ "I mean- no."

"Sorry. Well, if you're not comfortable having me as your doctor, that's fine…" he holds up his hands, "my feelings won't be hurt, you can find yourself a different doctor in the area."

"But Dr. Perkins has been my doctor forever." That was probably a reach, but still. "I really like and trust her."

Dr. Hong tilts his head to the side and tucks his hands behind him. "Well maybe you can really like and trust me too."

Seokmin studies the doctor instead of answering immediately. He wasn't too old- no gray hairs or obvious wrinkles. He spoke in a gentle manner, eyes kind; even if Seokmin didn't admit it, he felt somehow drawn to the man. He takes his time before answering, still a bit wary about the sudden change.

"It doesn’t happen that fast. But I’ll try."

The smile that he was greeted with was bright and warm. "Good. Great! Then I'm your doctor." He reached out and shook Seokmin's hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Lee."

The nurse comes back in with x-ray films in hand. "These are Mr. Lee's x-rays. Mrs. Ko came back today, she said she wanted to talk to you about her hip surgery."

"Okay. I'll see her in a bit." 

Dr. Hong reviews the x-rays and turns to Seokmin. "Well, Mr. Lee, you definitely have a broken leg." He shows one of the films and Seokmin sees a print of a bone snapped in two, one of them slanting away from the other end. "This here is your femur, or your thigh bone as you may call it. And this-" he pulls out another film, another set of broken bones, "this here is from your knee to your shin. Right here," Dr. Hong pulls out another, and thankfully the last, "is your ankle. You absorbed most of the impact from the crash, especially when your vehicle hit the tree. That's all of the broken bones though, miraculously. No broken ribs or arms, so congratulations."

"I don't think being in a leg cast is a thing for celebration, doc," Seokmin says wryly. 

"Got it. Not a party." He tucks away the films. "You're still alive, though, so it may be some cause. Un-congratulations then."

"Well, un-thank you." 

A beat of silence and an awkward pause later, Dr. Hong claps his hands once.

"Right, well, here's your prescription," he writes on his small notepad. "It'll help with the pain and all, I'll have the nurse give you a list of do's and don'ts, and how to take care of your cast. You'll be discharged soon, so I will be seeing you in...two weeks." 

He rips off the page he wrote on a little too strongly, and it flies out of his hands. Seokmin watched Dr. Hong try to catch the paper for a minute until he did, and handed it to his patient while clearing his throat. 

"Uhm, thank you, doctor." 

"You're welcome." With a sheepish smile and slight bow, Dr. Hong headed out and soon Seokmin was alone in his room. 

\---

"Seokmin!" 

Jeonghan and Jihoon barged in when it was around the time their shift ended. The older immediately wrapped his arms around him, nearly sobbing at the sight of him awake. 

"Oh quit lurking, c'mere," Jeonghan pulled Jihoon in as well. Seokmin nearly cried. 

"You!" Jeonghan pulled away. _He really was crying_. "Never- ever! Fucking do that again." He was holding Seokmin's face in his hands. 

"Jeonghan-hyung was crying the whole time you were asleep," Jihoon supplied. 

"Oh shut up! You were crying just as bad!" 

Seokmin wiped away at his face as fresh tears poured out, laughing out a little as the two bickered. 

"How long was I out?"

"About two days," Jihoon said as he set down several plastic bags on the bedside table. 

"Are you okay? Does anything hurt right now?" Jeonghan fussed, adjusting his pillows, his blanket, checking the equipment around him. 

"Hyung, I'm fine. I'm okay." He held on to the other's hand to steady him. "Thank you. And I'm sorry for worrying you." 

His friends shake their heads in unison. 

"No. We should be sorry. We never should have let you in that truck with Sunghyun," Jihoon replied. He scooted next to Seokmin and sat by the bed. "If we had known-" 

"Hyung, it was my decision. You don't have to blame yourselves for it." 

"Yeah but we still could have done something." Jeonghan replied, downcast. "That bastard shouldn't even be within a fucking mile of you." 

At the mention of his husband, Seokmin remembered that he hadn't seen him all day. 

"Speaking of Sunghyun- where is he? Is he kept in another room?"

He notices the look Jeonghan and Jihoon exchange, as if confirming with each other something he clearly did not know. 

"What? Where is he? Is he hurt too?"

"Not really- I mean. He's not as badly hurt as you, but..."

"But what?"

"Sunghyun's in jail, Seokmin."

There's a beat before Seokmin registers what Jihoon just said to him. "What- why?"

"He was...drunk that night, Seok. He would have just been given a slap on the wrist for driving under the influence but he caused damages, you know? The truck crashed into a car- just some minor injuries for them, thank god. The front of their car got banged up pretty bad, though."

"So how long do they plan on...keeping him there?" 

Jeonghan scoffed. "Police said he'll only be locked up for a week. A week!" The older was shaking his head furiously. "He could have fucking killed you- and the people in the other car and they lock him up for a fucking week?" 

"Stupidest bullshit I ever heard." Jihoon shook his head in dismay.

Seokmin thought of Sunghyun sitting in a cell, hands cuffed and behind bars and felt- satisfied. For the briefest moment, he revelled in the fact that Sunghyun was in a place where he wouldn’t be able to touch Seokmin, he wouldn’t be able to reach him, or do anything to him. He lets the thought stew in his mind until he realizes what he was doing. Guilt washed over him in an instant. Seokmin shuddered and tried to ignore the thoughts that continued to badger him. 

Jihoon slid off the bed and started rummaging in the plastic bags. He brought out three instant ramen cups and went to prepare them. When Seokmin caught a whiff of the food, he realized just how hungry he was. He started eating as soon as Jihoon handed him his cup of noodles, not caring if it burnt his tongue. As the three ate and updated him of what he missed, Seokmin was reminded of their diner. 

"Wait- you said I was out for two days. What happened at the diner?"

"We didn't have any pies for two days. None of us could bake the same way you do." Jihoon took a big slurp. "And Seungcheol-hyung didn't want anyone else to do it anyways." 

"The tourists probably didn't even notice but the place was so fucking gloomy without you and your pies, Min-ah." 

Seokmin paused his eating. "Really?"

"Yeah. Even old man Jeon was quiet." 

"Oh." He gulped down the last of his ramen to hide his face, and to have something to be busy with. Seokmin didn't know what to say. 

"By the way," Jeonghan said as he set down his cup, "our Jihoon here just downloaded a dating app." 

Seokmin whipped his head as the smaller man spluttered and choked on the soup he was downing, his face quickly turning red, both from the spice and from embarrassment. 

"What? When?"

"During the weekend!" Jeonghan answered before Jihoon could. 

"And you've been keeping this all to yourself?" Seokmin acted surprised, placing his hand on his chest. 

"In my defense, I knew you guys were going to make a big deal out of it!" Jihoon raised his arms in defense, face still red. 

"That's because it is a big deal!" Jeonghan practically squealed. The older slung his arm around Jihoon's shoulders and giggled. 

"Whatever! We're done talking about me!" Jihoon waved his hands in front of me, as if to physically end the conversation. "How was the doctor, Seokmin?"

"Oh no- we're not done talking about you-"

"Yes we are, hyung! Seok? The doctor?" 

Seokmin laughed as he watched Jihoon's red face pleading for him. He relented and patted his hyung's hand. Jeonghan whispered "this ain't over yet" as Seokmin answered. 

"It was fine." He placed his empty cup on the table. "New doctor. A man."

Jeonghan nodded and hummed. "A man. Wow. Is he single? Maybe he'd be good for Jihoon."

Jihoon groans and the two could not help but laugh.

"I think he had a ring. Nice guy. A bit nervous, I guess. He said he was from Seoul." Seokmin tilted his head as he recalled their interaction earlier

"Seoul? What the hell is he doing here then?"

"I have no idea." The baker shrugged as he failed to give an answer. “He seemed nice, though. Wish I had a pie to give him. I always gave Dr. Perkins a pie.”

They talk for most of the night, Seokmin grateful for the company. It wasn’t until Jeonghan sighed and told them that he needed to go home and tend to his husband; it was already late in the evening. Soon Seokmin found himself alone once more in his room, with nothing but his thoughts to accompany him in the silence. 

\---

_“There’s a lot of things baking can do,” Seokmin whispered to no one in particular as he kneaded the dough. He had already lost track of how many he’d done, mind in auto-pilot. “I’d bake myself a door if I have to.” He stops and stares at the dough. Seokmin could feel the tears stinging his eyes. “Fuck, stop crying.”_

Don’t let me down _, Seokmin pleaded helplessly at the lump of sugar, butter, and flour. He leaned on the kitchen counter and fought back the tears that threatened to spill. His mind takes him back to the last fight he had with Sunghyun. The urge to run away, to disappear, to do something absolutely_ stupid _constantly followed Seokmin, but the fear and uncertainty kept him grounded. Or shackled. He remembered his mom, and laughed with no real joy in it. Seokmin realized that his life was no different from what his mom had._ How did you even do it, eomma? _Seokmin thought._ We could have left. All the countless opportunities to up and leave everything behind and start a new life, why didn't you take them? _But Seokmin knew he couldn't really blame her. He of all people understood her, now more than ever._

Alright, then. _Seokmin stood straight and sniffled,_ let’s see the next amazing thing baking does now _. That day, Seokmin filled pies with different flavors and a dash of anger. And desperation. No one would know except for him. When they’re out there on the displays, when they’re on the plates of the people who asked for it, until the crumbs are thrown and the plates are washed away, so would the secrets be._

\---

With nothing else to do but stare at the ceiling, Seokmin decided to do something he knew he could do. In his mind, a new pie was being made. And maybe when he’s able to work again, he could start baking it. Seokmin struggled with the name and could not decide which one best described it. 

_I Wish Sunghyun Would Rot in Jail Pie._

Yes. Definitely. 

He had learned a long time ago that pies are the best places to hide one's secrets. They could dance on the tongues of the very people they were secrets from and they would never have a clue. And this time, Seokmin thinks, he would definitely use more shortening. Maybe this time, it’ll trap the moisture in for as long as he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a few more chapters i swear seokmin will get a break :")
> 
> am not an expert in the medical field or law enforcement lkfdhglfhfl
> 
> thank you so much for reading!


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